Plastik Ako!

I must admit... sometimes when I meet a new acquaintance:

- I smile at them even if they are somehow unpleasant.
- I laugh at their jokes even if they are not funny.
- I say "I agree" even if I am not sure.

Positive Kaplastikan
Can you say I am a bad person? Listen up, it always boils down to INTENTIONS. I do those things because I want to make the person feel comfortable and good and it ends there. I do NOT to put them down when they turn away.

This positive kaplastikan turns to a genuine feeling of acceptance and respect in time.

Negative Kaplastikan
I only show this negative kaplastikan to other people who show a nice face and attitude but once you turn your back, they will transform into a frenzied mob of bitches and they stab you with insults. Let them be, I give them a taste of their own medicine.

You can argue that kaplastikan whether positive or negative is still kaplastikan. Very much like "white lies" but then again we are confined in technicality and unless someone invents a new word to call this then I admit I'm plastik but with positive intentions.

I am a real friend, I will do anything for a true friend. If you need money, I'll help you wash cars and sell peanuts.

Dear Sir: The Confrontation Diary

If I were Venus Raj, I think I have an answer to the question: "What is the biggest mistake in your life?" And that would be - "Posting a provocative facebook status." ^^

I started a fire.

A line from Justin Timberlake's song "Cry Me A River" goes like this:
"You know what they say, some things are better left unsaid."

But I have no regrets. In fact, I am thankful for what happened. This is my letter to you, sir.

Dear Sir,

You are both right and wrong.

You are right
when you pointed out something with that facebook wall photo.

Umarte lang ng naaayon sa itsura. Pag hindi masyadong maganda, wag masyadong maarte.

If that Alessandra de Rossi quote is a universal truth then I have absolutely no right na mag-inarte, no doubt about it. I am fully aware that I am not good-looking, I just want to be at least presentable and if my occasional mirror peek makes you and your cronies cringe, then let me tell you this - stop applying powder to your face because it doesn't help at all but if it makes you confident then go ahead.

You are right
when you said

Hindi simple magsulat, it's not a mindless matter.

Sir, this made me laugh because I got an impression that what we are doing (link building) is mindless. Whether it's what you're thinking or not, link building is based on principles and algorithm, there is science and even math in what we do. I know you don't give a shit but I tell you it involves brain activities. You know sir, instead of asking content from you (every time we need some for our link building efforts), I choose to write my own because I don't want to disturb you and I agree that it's not an easy task.

Can't you be a man just this once by saying those tweets and FB status updates straight to my face? Well then, you should thank me for still calling you "sir". You know what sir? I don't really understand your purpose in doing that. For me, it's your way of letting other people know that you are bitching someone up. Your friends will leave comments which is comparable to shooting in the dark, you fish them and make everything look like they have full knowledge of what happened and they are in favor of you. You will then feel high and mighty while others bask in your glory. I find it pathetic, sir. It's a great display of cowardice. Let's take a look at your tweet here...

Work ethic. Not everyone has it. Oh, and talk about paranoia and negativity. Go on, take everything we do the wrong way. Make our day!

Wow, just wow! Someone who submits articles late and who sleeps during working hours is talking about work ethic. Very credible, sir. Very credible! *applause*

Sir, don't you have the fucking balls to say those to my face? You are indeed good at utilizing social media to your advantage... but you can't throw them at my face. Let me remind you sir, I am sitting just behind you. You are a fucking blabbermouth diva! A fucking coward~!

You are wrong
hindi ako nag-iinarte

Ang daming nagiinarte sa mundo! Puros arte, nasaway lang dahil sa ingay nagiinarte na. Hindi simple magsulat, it's not a mindless matter. Simpleng bagay pinapalaki. Puros arte!

If you are thinking na naginarte ako dahil nasaway lang, then you are mistaken. Hindi ako ganun kababaw. Wait did it even occur to you na may malalim na pinag-ugatan un? Of course not! It's because you are insensitive, sir. It's that simple.

Sir, the "ingay" issue is not something na pinalaki ko. I already explained it to your sister (ask her), we already talked about it, I proposed an action plan to the link building team and everything ended well (I think). On another note sir, when do you say a person is nag-iinarte? I didn't throw a barrage of status on FB and twitter... it's just a single post (that affected you big time) as opposed to your everyday twitter rants... so technically... nag-iinarte ka rin? Everyday? So if that single post irritated you, then you could just imagine how others feel reading your sentiments in twitter (ah! i can unfollow you nga pala, sorry my bad). Ikaw rin naman may mga pinapatamaan ka sa twitter, I can see that. So sir, if those people reacted the way you do... can I now say you just had a taste of your own medicine? Bitter, isn't it? LOL.

You are wrong
because you are impulsive and you let prejudice take over you that is why you failed to get my point. Sir, you failed to get my point because you keep on saying that I'm talking stuff that are out of context. Sir, you are insisting that I'm saying out of the context stuff because you are unwilling to listen and understand my side. Sir, you are unwilling to listen and understand my side because you saw an opportunity to put that bitchy character you see in movies and soaps into practice. MAS INUNA MO PA MANLAIT BAGO ALAMIN ANG NANGYAYARI. Well, it's useless din pala, I guess. Did I already mention "unwilling to listen and understand my side"? Oh, wait I already did. LOL!

AM I GETTING PERSONAL?
Yes I am, sir! It's because you started it! This would've been fixed and gotten over with if you didn't get personal with me. I bite hard and deep if situation calls for it. Sir, I started a chat with you with an apology and what did I get in return? A bunch of insults. Well, what do you expect from a ranter? XD

It's funny because I didn't even see a trace of eagerness to patch things up, it seems like you don't want to lift a finger. Oh wait, you actually did lift a finger... in typing those status, that is.

I am thankful
Sir, I thank you with what happened. I learned a lot from this experience. Not all arguments can be settled but there must be a common ground somewhere. Any misunderstanding can be settled, if you have an open mind. E hindi e, you got mad when I said you are dictating how we should feel about stuff. In our "friendly" chat you said something like:

"Wala lang samin un - WALA DAPAT ma offend dun."

So, you are not being a dictator with that statement? Here's the thing sir, a person can never accurately point out what's wrong with him/herself. Not unless he/she would stop and examine himself/herself through the eyes of others BUT you are the type of person who would never even care to think about it because subconsciously you think your opinion is all that matters.

Correct me if I'm wrong but I think the reason why you don't talk to me and joke around with me the way you casually do with others is because you know my capacity... and you can't dominate me. Good thinking, sir. It's a nice move~!

Sir, sayang. I have so much respect for you but in just a snap, it disappeared just like that. Minsan lang tayo mag-usap ng masinsinan, sa ganitong sitwasyon pa. Ang inaakala kong makakasundo ko, makakabangga ko pala. Sir, I know you don't care and I know how annoying I have become to you pero sir, you know what? You should thank me for calling you "sir" kahit most of the time mas malandi ka pa kay Madonna.

I Hate Goodbyes

I hate goodbyes. I don't want to say "goodbye"... again.

...but whenever I do, I make sure I say it with a smile, at the very least. Last week I said goodbye to a dear friend. Her name is Jianya Tang... yep, she's Chinese. She went back home to China for good.

We were classmates in De La Salle University - Dasmariñas and we were inseparable esp. during our early freshman years. The story is quite awkward. It's our first day and she's standing in front of our classroom looking at the classroom number and her student form back and forth for like 3 minutes, straight! It's like she wants to assure herself every second that she is in the right classroom. It was my first time in my entire life to approach a girl and straightforwardly ask: "Hi! We are classmates. Can we be friends?" We shook hands and she said: "Of course!" I can't remove the smile on my face that day.

7 years after... I can't believe I'll be saying the opposite. Actually, I didn't... because I don't think I can handle it. She invited me and 2 of our other classmates for videoke and food, we all know that she'll be leaving in 3 days and it will be her last moment with us, so it was a night of endless photo shoot and laughter! Until I sang this:



"Oh, that was a nice song. Thank you very much." Sometimes being emo helps me in converting my feelings into words and so as not to break the spree, I asked my other classmate to sing "Peng You", a Chinese song about friendship. My classmate sang Kim Chu's version which has Filipino lyrics but Jianya sang with her in Mandarin which made the song a beautiful duet.



And just like in movies, flashbacks occurred to me: We eat most of the time together for lunch (she likes sisig and pinakbet); we review together in a "kubo" (kubos are everywhere in La Salle, they're like benches in a park), we laugh at each other, literally. She thinks I'm a dog... =_= then she'll say "Don't worry, you are the cutest dog!" Then she'll laugh with a bucket load of sarcasm; I taught her and her Chinese friends "Pandanggo sa Ilaw" because they need to present a Philippine traditional dance; I sometimes go with her when she does her grocery shopping and we always stop and debate over fresh produce, I developed that invulnerability to peoples' stare every time we talk oh so loud on the street in English; when we laugh, we laugh out loud, it's like the end of the world; I pretend that I am Thai every time we eat in an authentic Vietnamese, Chinese or Japanese resto (and the waiters really do think I'm Thai! XD )...

Haha, if I go on, this blog post would probably never end. In other words, we had no dull moments. It's like we knew each other since we were babies and cultural and language barriers don't exist between the two of us. She is really a one of a kind friend.
So after that videoke night, she called a cab for us... I was about to go inside but then I turned around looked at her for the last time and said: "Ah! I hate goodbyes. Just take care of yourself." We both know it will be an emotional moment so we didn't say much.

I'm sure that she enjoyed her 7 year stay here in the Philippines just as much as I enjoyed her company. I am also confident that after 50 years she will tell stories to her grandchildren about how much she missed this cute dog she met in the Philippines.
I tried not to cry but I'm such an emo! Goodbye "Pinky"... till we meet again... I'm sure we will... somehow.

I Fell In Love With A Boy

Hi allow me to introduce myself, the name's Mikuru Hirai! Pleasure to meet you!

"Mikuru Hirai?" You might be asking what's with the name when in fact, Chase Tatoy is my real name. First off, I am not Japanese nor have a drop of Japanese blood running in my veins. And no, I'm not an Otaku but I love watching certain anime titles. It's just that I adore the culture of Japan and I feel like they have way more fun than any other country, nuff said. So anyway, there you go, if I would rename myself, it has to be a Japanese-sounding name.

"Mikuru" is the first name and "Hirai" is the family name (in Japan it's supposed to be written as "Hirai Mikuru" - family name first).

"Hirai" (ヒライ) came from a popular Japanese singer that I am very attracted to - Ken Hirai. He is in his late 30's but I still find him oozing with sex appeal and I think his voice is so sensual. The name "Mikuru" on the other hand has a rather interesting story.

I was in my last years in college and being the usual bum that I am, I met this high school boy at the arcade. I managed to dig up this stolen video shot of him from my porn stash. Hmm... I wonder why it's there.. well anyway, here he is:


At the end of the video he realized I'm holding a cam so he said: "なんだ? うるせ!" ("Nanda, Uruse!") Which roughly translates to "What is it? Shut up!" The funny thing is, "Uruse" is a vulgar word but he said it while smiling... ain't it cute? XD

He is this average English-speaking, soft spoken boy. He is both childish and childlike in many ways. Let's say, in a school setting, he is the type who is always bullied and pushed around. My other "arcade friends" stay away from him because he talks nonstop about anime and shows his collection of anime drawings even though people weren't interested. In other words, they think he's weird. On the other hand, I don't... I enjoy talking to him and listening to his stories. I don't know if it's just because of physical attraction or whatever but one thing's for sure... what I felt was real and I believe I don't have to explain it to myself or to anyone.

He has this unique smell. He doesn't wear perfume or powder and he doesn't reek of bad odor but his skin has this distinct smell which intensifies my attraction to him every time I smell it.

Where is he now, you ask? I became busy with school projects, thesis and stuff since I am graduating in 2 months or so at that time. It took me quite a while to go back to the place where we usually see each other.

I remember him asking me - "What's your favorite anime?" I jokingly answered "I only watch yaoi." And to my surprise he said: "I sometimes like yaoi, too." And out of nothing he would say random things like: "You know, if I spend a lot if time with someone, I tend to be like that person." I didn't bother asking him what he meant by those words... up until now. I chose to stay away from him because I know he's only 'confused' with his sexuality and at his age I know for a fact that it's normal. I just don't want to be a catalyst of that confusion. He is young and smart... full of promise. He has a life ahead of him.

After graduation, I immediately started a call center job and I was on night shift. Then I was assigned on a day shift after like, 5 months, I don't know how it happened but my feet took me to 'that' place again... he wasn't there. I sat and waited for 30 minutes but there was no sign of him so I decided to leave. The moment I stood up, someone walked towards my direction... I captured a very familiar scent and when I looked back, I got petrified the moment I realized it was him. He grew a bit bigger, he grew a bit of facial hair which that made him more manly and handsome.

His name is Mikhail. "Mikuru" is a 'Japanized' name I equated for "Mikhail".
Good thing he didn't see me.

I chose to let go and walked away...
As I walk away, the scent slowly began disappearing...
As I walk away, I whispered to myself "Sayonara..."

Someone saw me shedding a tear and asked me why. I replied: "I fell in love with a boy."