I Fell In Love With A Boy

Hi allow me to introduce myself, the name's Mikuru Hirai! Pleasure to meet you!

"Mikuru Hirai?" You might be asking what's with the name when in fact, Chase Tatoy is my real name. First off, I am not Japanese nor have a drop of Japanese blood running in my veins. And no, I'm not an Otaku but I love watching certain anime titles. It's just that I adore the culture of Japan and I feel like they have way more fun than any other country, nuff said. So anyway, there you go, if I would rename myself, it has to be a Japanese-sounding name.

"Mikuru" is the first name and "Hirai" is the family name (in Japan it's supposed to be written as "Hirai Mikuru" - family name first).

"Hirai" (ヒライ) came from a popular Japanese singer that I am very attracted to - Ken Hirai. He is in his late 30's but I still find him oozing with sex appeal and I think his voice is so sensual. The name "Mikuru" on the other hand has a rather interesting story.

I was in my last years in college and being the usual bum that I am, I met this high school boy at the arcade. I managed to dig up this stolen video shot of him from my porn stash. Hmm... I wonder why it's there.. well anyway, here he is:


At the end of the video he realized I'm holding a cam so he said: "なんだ? うるせ!" ("Nanda, Uruse!") Which roughly translates to "What is it? Shut up!" The funny thing is, "Uruse" is a vulgar word but he said it while smiling... ain't it cute? XD

He is this average English-speaking, soft spoken boy. He is both childish and childlike in many ways. Let's say, in a school setting, he is the type who is always bullied and pushed around. My other "arcade friends" stay away from him because he talks nonstop about anime and shows his collection of anime drawings even though people weren't interested. In other words, they think he's weird. On the other hand, I don't... I enjoy talking to him and listening to his stories. I don't know if it's just because of physical attraction or whatever but one thing's for sure... what I felt was real and I believe I don't have to explain it to myself or to anyone.

He has this unique smell. He doesn't wear perfume or powder and he doesn't reek of bad odor but his skin has this distinct smell which intensifies my attraction to him every time I smell it.

Where is he now, you ask? I became busy with school projects, thesis and stuff since I am graduating in 2 months or so at that time. It took me quite a while to go back to the place where we usually see each other.

I remember him asking me - "What's your favorite anime?" I jokingly answered "I only watch yaoi." And to my surprise he said: "I sometimes like yaoi, too." And out of nothing he would say random things like: "You know, if I spend a lot if time with someone, I tend to be like that person." I didn't bother asking him what he meant by those words... up until now. I chose to stay away from him because I know he's only 'confused' with his sexuality and at his age I know for a fact that it's normal. I just don't want to be a catalyst of that confusion. He is young and smart... full of promise. He has a life ahead of him.

After graduation, I immediately started a call center job and I was on night shift. Then I was assigned on a day shift after like, 5 months, I don't know how it happened but my feet took me to 'that' place again... he wasn't there. I sat and waited for 30 minutes but there was no sign of him so I decided to leave. The moment I stood up, someone walked towards my direction... I captured a very familiar scent and when I looked back, I got petrified the moment I realized it was him. He grew a bit bigger, he grew a bit of facial hair which that made him more manly and handsome.

His name is Mikhail. "Mikuru" is a 'Japanized' name I equated for "Mikhail".
Good thing he didn't see me.

I chose to let go and walked away...
As I walk away, the scent slowly began disappearing...
As I walk away, I whispered to myself "Sayonara..."

Someone saw me shedding a tear and asked me why. I replied: "I fell in love with a boy."